Marriage & The Messy Middle

 

In my last post I outlined the first three of my immovable theological anchors that guide me as a pastor who is committed to living in the messy middle. I painted the picture of a big tent where those who consider themselves disciples of Christ can live together in healthy, safe, & robust communities that allow for different views, opinions, and even traditions related to secondary doctrines.

In this blog I transition to an anchor that I suspect may spark some controversy and/or disagreement. Since clarity is kindness, I believe that it is important to clearly state that I affirm the statement of my home church, East Lake Community Church, which lines up with what is generally held by the global and historic church. I believe that biblical marriage is a covenant union entered into voluntarily between one biological male & one biological woman. Furthermore, all sexual activity outside of marriage goes against God’s best plan for humanity.  

I hope you stayed with me after that last paragraph, though I know I likely lost some people. For many on the far right it may appear that I am merely giving lip service to the words in order to misrepresent my position and/or assuage their deepest fears. Meanwhile, those who consider themselves theologically open & affirming or those in the LGBTQ+ community may suspect that I am just another wolf in sheep’s clothing trying to sneak into their flock to cause damage. While I understand many of the reasons people on each side may feel these things please rest assured that I am much more complicated than you may realize in my drive to become inclusive in my love of all, like Jesus.

My position is informed by my own bible study & prayer along with theological study that includes honest exploration of all positions. I wish my research had led to another conclusion. However, there are some clear verses that have convinced me that I must cling to this theological anchor while living in the tension of loving & accepting my friends who hold different positions. 

For the sake of this brief conversation I want to focus on two  passages that have brought clarity for me on this controversial topic. Let me start with Genesis 2:24, where we see the Bible’s blueprint for marriage: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”  Starting with Adam & Eve God uses biological sex language in describing the union we call marriage.  

The second verse is found in Matthew chapter 19 where we see Jesus affirming the language of Genesis 2. In this passage Jesus is answering a question regarding divorce that has been asked by a religious leader who is trying to trap Him. In His response to a direct question about divorce Jesus answered: “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,  and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ Matthew 19:4-5 (NIV). In this interaction we see Jesus stating that God created humanity with two unique biological sexes with the intent of joining those senses together in sexual unions.

If you include passages like those found in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, Ecclesiastes, along with others found throughout the old & new testaments, I am left with no choice but to hold to this controversial yet clear, in my humble opinion, position. However, as you will see in my next blog, and hopefully in my ministry message overall, that though I hold firmly to this position I believe there is room in my life for those who hold differing positions. I even believe that people are often born with inclinations or even identities that are outside God’s best plan for humanity YET still benefit from the love, acceptance, and grace of God.

Next up: We MUST LOVE ALL PEOPLE!